Friday, January 18, 2019

Lost Within/Catharsis - by Nada Adel Sobhi


The wind blows upon my face. Eyes closed, I'm lost in my mind, memories, jumbled. I stand in the midst of a storm. Thoughts, ideas, dates, people, all flitting through, passing me by.

I stand still, not wanting them to take notice of me.

Let them pass, fly, run… disappear.

I feel the air caress my face, reminding me that I can withdraw from the dark depths within at any time.

I keep my eyes unfocused lest the flurry of my thoughts ceases its movement and hammers me down like a million arrows.

Cold.

Is it in my mind that I feel so lost, lonely, cold? Or it the outside world?

The wind picks up. I feel it. But it's not cold. Just suitable.

My head aches.

How?

I thought I was in my head. And yet there is that tinge of pain. A prelude to a migraine.

Then comes a buzz. A fly or a bee.

The wind picks up again, driving them away, restoring my surrounding peace.

At least there is peace somewhere in my world.

Faces; some I know, some I don't pass my vision.

Words: some kind, others harsh.

Gestures, emotions, situations, distant places… a waterfall, Niagara?

An avalanche. What? Where? I've never been to such a place!

The avalanche turns to black. My darker memories. Pains, regrets, fears, anger, all hurling towards me.

I duck, cover my head with my arms, brace myself for the crash, the fall, the darkness.

But there it is again. An orange butterfly passes me by; the wind pushes my hair away from my eyes, guides me to the light, to life, to the garden before me.

I open my eyes.


By: Nada Adel Sobhi

After writing Catharsis/Lost Within, I took a pic of the view.
Photography (not amazing) but by Nada Adel Sobhi

This piece can be called Lost Within or Catharsis or both, because that is what was - or is - for me.

I've been keeping it aside for some time, not sure when or if I should share it. But I finally decided to publish it and share it with the world. Because we all need to experience that sense of being bathed from within.

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