Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Broken - 5SF



Your feet bleed as you enter the dark room. Broken glass litters the floor. In the faint light they would have appeared as pretty pearls and crystals. But that is not us, not anymore; just shards of a broken life, a dying love.


Before you is the outcome of my emotional storm.






This week's five-sentence prompt is "Pieces". I used the picture for a bit of inspiration. 


Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Longing - A Short Story


Every morning the waves rose to greet the sun for a new day in the ancient city of Alexandria. And each day, the sun embraced the waves and its inhabitants as it rose to announce the coming of the new day.
Every morning Kreer rose with the waves and his eyes rested on the same place; the Qayet Bay Castle.

It was many years ago when he walked the halls of that majestic castle. He had even seen the establishment of the famous Alexandria lighthouse and with much sadness saw its destruction when the earthquake hit the ancient city.

Now the Qayet Bay Castle stood where the wondrous lighthouse had once stood. Every morning he rises to gaze upon the Castle. His heart beat for the memories he had there. For in that Castle was where he met the love of his life, Yasmine, a beautiful and breathtaking dark-skinned Egyptian woman.
Yasmine was a tour guide who came to the Castle often to show the world its beauty. Kreer would come to meet her after she finished work.

But that was many years ago. He lost count for he didn’t age as Yasmine and humans did.
He remembered the day she professed her love for him.

‘Kreer,’ she said, ‘there’s something I want to tell you.’
They were holding hands while taking a stroll inside the Castle after closing hours. He had taken her to the balcony overlooking the sea. The night air was fresh and slightly salty with a full moon shining proudly over the water.
‘Kreer,’ she began again, her face blushing as she looked down then up to meet his eyes, ‘I’m in love with you!’
His heart beat strong in his chest at the sound of those words. She touched his face and he closed his eyes and rested his head on her hand.
She had stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek then his neck.
He could feel her excitement.
He wrapped his arms around her waist and laid her head against his chest.
But it didn’t seem enough. She wanted more.

Kreer was old in life not in years. He did want to spend his life with her but he did not know much about humans let alone women, and Yasmine’s excitement scared him.
As a Merman, he had had crushes on other Mermaids before but Yasmine was the first human; and though mingling with humans was not well thought of, Kreer did it often for he could easily come and go between the two worlds as he pleased.

Yasmine was about 30 at the time. An age frowned upon by society even if opportunity had not presented itself and even though a man of the same age was considered young. Kreer did not quite get that part.

As he wrapped his arms around her, she tiptoed again to kiss him more. He felt her desire on her lips, enjoyed them immensely but was equally afraid for Yasmine did not know he was not human. They had been seeing each other for several months but Kreer had not told her much about himself. He told her that he was from a well to do family that was travelling most of the time and that he lived and worked in Alexandria. Yasmine had shared some of her secrets with him but he hadn’t shared his biggest secret with her. Part of him feared her reaction, another part feared she would let his secret out. He trusted her but because his knowledge of humans was not of expert level not even intermediate, he had his doubts; those same doubts that ruined many of his relationships with Mermaids.

She was acting childishly, or so he thought. 

The sea had bred him strong and slightly cold. Yasmine, on the other hand, was high with excitement and longing then. A kiss would have excited and calmed her at the same time. So it was with women. But Kreer did not know that. He wanted to calm her but did not know how. He also did not truly know much about human love and desire. Merpeople had desires but they were never as strong, stormy or sudden as human desires.
He just held her.

‘Kreer! Do you understand what I’m saying? I love you and I don’t want to spend another moment without you!’
She was excited still but fear and frustration had begun to creep in. Again, she kissed his neck, but he didn’t seem to feel or rather understand what that meant. She felt like she was kissing handsome rock.
Where had his feelings gone? She had felt them before. What was going on?

Yasmine had been heartbroken before. When she met Kreer, she was scared but he had calmed her and eased her previous pain. He did not talk much but he had this soothing and calming effect that lingered with her.

He could hear her heartbeats screaming when they first stood under the moon and she told him how she felt. Bit by bit, her heartbeats began to slow till they were at normal pace.

It was at that moment that Yasmine backed away from him, looking at him as a puppy looks at a fully grown wolf.
‘What is wrong with you?’ Her voice had changed. It was angry, scared and uncertain.

‘Yas-’, he began but she cut him short. ‘Don’t Yasmine me! What’s the matter with you? Here I am dying to be with you. I’ve been counting the hours till our meeting and here you stand as cold and as silent as stone.’
Her voice was rising and he saw anger in her eyes. He didn’t understand why, but guessed it was his lack of emotions compared to her.

‘If you’ve been playing with my feelings all this time –’, she began but overwhelmed she stopped.
‘No. No. I haven’t been playing with your feelings. I care about you,’ he told her. The word ‘love’ was not something he had heard before amongst Merpeople, and all he knew was what he felt through her. When she professed her love, he felt her tingling desirous emotions. She wanted him. And that was all he knew about love; all he had come to know about love, in his long life, a few minutes before.

‘Care?’ Her tone was venomous.
‘Care? No love? Nothing?’
‘You have to understand. I’m not like you.’ His words were poison.

He did not mean it. Now was not the time to tell her that he was a Merman but there was no other way to explain why he acted this way.
‘Let me show you,’ he said, taking her hand. She pulled away.

He heard her heart beat differently. He’d never heard a human heart beat like that before.
‘Yasmine, what’s wrong? Why is your heart beating like that?’
‘May be because you’re breaking it!’

Tears were forming in her eyes. She looked away, burying her face in her hands.
He came from behind and held her.
‘I’m not human. Please believe me.’ He whispered.
She whimpered.  
‘Will you just let me show you?’ He pleaded, ‘please?’
She was not convinced, but might as well see whatever it is he was saying. Her heart was broken anyway, what did it matter if he turned out to be another liar with a better excuse.

She nodded silently, but tears were already streaming down her cheeks.
She turned around slowly. He was already standing at the edge with the sea banging against the castle walls.
He took off his shirt and jumped into the dark water.
Yasmine screamed and went to the wall to look. Seconds seemed like eons but finally Kreer’s head and torso appeared unharmed.

‘Look!’ he called out, and dived again. As he did, Yasmine did not see legs and feet but a beautiful silvery-turquoise tail fin. Her sadness turned into awe and surprise.
She gaped.
‘Come down,’ he called out.
‘I’m scared. I’ll come from the shore,’ she answered.

She raced down the castle steps, doing her best not to fall and break her neck.
The shore was empty. It must have been quite late. Yasmine took off her sandals and put her feet in the water. Freezing was not the word to describe it but she didn’t know any words colder than ‘freezing’.
‘Kreer!’ She called out, but her voice was lost over the late night wind.
‘KREER!’ She said at the top of her voice as she took a few more steps in.
Now her whole body was shaking and she felt as though her legs were going numb from the cold.

Kreer appeared in the distance. The tide was getting stronger. He edged towards her but for some reason she wouldn’t come forward to meet him. 
Strong tides were harder to swim against but then again it was something he was used to and no longer considered dangerous.
She moved in more, trying to fight the growing tide. The water was a little over her waist now. ‘Kreer, I’m scared.’
‘I can’t come that far with my tail fin. You have to come to me. I’ll keep you safe.’

She wasn’t sure what to do. But he hadn’t intentionally broken heart; he was in fact different. As she debated and turned the thoughts over in her head, several massive waves came down on her like an avalanche, while the tide pulled her from underneath. She dived, came up to take a breath and was pulled down again.
It was only then that Kreer realised that the water was too strong for his beautiful flower. He inched as much as he could but the tide worked against him too. He had reached the utmost he could but Yasmine was nowhere to be seen. He called out at the top of his voice but to no avail. He dived and searched for her and still nothing.

As the sea began to calm, he saw something floating in the distance. A lump formed in his chest and he swam as fast as he could. It was Yasmine, or her lifeless body at least.
He screamed and cursed in all the languages and tongues he knew.

It was then that he knew what heartbreak felt like. That day he tasted fury and bitterness. That day he hated the sea. He had heard humans speak of the sea as treacherous but had never believed it – not until that day when the sea took his life away. That day, he understood. And he has never forgiven the sea since.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Holding On - Jezri's 55-Word Challenge


Once upon a time, I had a dream, a child of my own flesh and blood, mind and soul; a dream that came bearing joy and love, a dream that left as a light goes out. Now, I hold on to a memory and a lonely teddy bear.







- Story is 48 words and inspired by all 3 pictures.

I also had Jackie Barreau, her ordeal and poetry collection "Through a Mother's Eyes" in mind.
More about Barreau here
Check out my review of her book here

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Through a Mother’s Eyes – Book Review


Through a Mother’s Eyes by Jackie Barreau is a collection of poems, quotes and pictures. It is published in memory of her two sons, Cody and Luke, who passed away at a very early age; it is also dedicated to her two daughters and to all parents who have lost their children to illness. It is a simple and heartfelt collection that deals with pain, loss, love, hope and moving forward.




The book’s cover and interior design are lovely. I enjoyed the simple pictures Barreau used; and above all, I loved the branches bearing red hearts with her sons’ initials. These branches and red hearts are used as decorative separators throughout the book; they separate one theme or main idea from the other, and occasionally include a quote.

The book opens with a very powerful quote by Moira Rogers that precedes the preface, thus setting the tone and content of the book. It is worth noting that Barreau has made a fine selection of quotes from many well-known writers like Maya Angelou and Kahlil Gibran, in addition to lesser-known and anonymous people.

The poems are short and mostly in free verse, though with some exceptions towards the end.

In her preface, Barreau states the reason for writing this collection and publishing it. She believes in the healing abilities of poetry and verse. One cannot imagine how hard it must have been for Jackie Barreau to write the introduction to this book and recount the memories and the dates that will forever be fixed in her heart and mind.
It is interesting that none of the poems has a title, leaving it to the reader and their emotions, and also leaving it to the verse itself to bear the full weight of the words.

Throughout her book, Barreau uses simple language to convey deep emotions and experiences.

The quotes, like the verses, are memorable; for instance, on p. 8: “Time may heal but the grief never leaves.” – Anonymous. This quote is followed by a poem in which Barreau directly mentions her son, Luke. (p. 9). The piece also handles the theme of reincarnation.

On p. 13, Barreau uses a painfully powerful image to describe the pain of losing a child; she describes it as threatening “to burn through the very core of you” – this line sends a shiver down my spine every time I read it. Similarly, p. 17 holds one of the strongest and most-heartfelt pieces in the book.

One must also note that the poems on p. 21 and 25 are simply spectacular owing to Barreau’s choice of words, use of oxymoron, contradiction and extended metaphor.
Barreau has not written this book to make others weep and mourn her loss, but to give other parents and other children hope, which is a main theme in this collection. Hope inspires and encourages/but above all creates a feeling of self-belief.” (p. 45).

Jackie Barreau cleanses her spirit through verse and quotes. The wording, throughout the book, is simple; it is as if Barreau is using this language so that if Cody and Luke were to ever read it, they would easily understand what she’s saying. Sincere emotions do not need verbose vocabulary, but rather need simple words to convey the deep meaning and the raw emotion they carry.

With this collection, Barreau immortalizes her sons Cody and Luke, and particularly with her line “immortal in death than in life itself,” (p. 21).

Through a Mother’s Eyes is a simple and touching collection that is meant to cleanse the soul and begin the process of moving forward with hope not with despair.



Overall rating 4 stars.

Works Cited:
Barreau, Jackie. Through a Mother's Eyes. Australia, 2013. Poetry Collection.

Connect with Jackie Barreau via Twitter, Facebook, and her website.